Things strangers are definitely thinking

1. “I shall SWING my spiky umbrella with all my strength just in case anyone behind me is close enough for me to impale their leg.”

2. “I shall just stop. Suddenly. For no reason. Ha.”

3. “How dare these fools in front of me not sense my presence and get out of my way. Walking into them to alert them of my presence is SUCH an inconvenience.”

4. “Maybe if I ride my bike fast enough through this pedestrianised area, all the pedestrians will disappear?”

5. “I have a pram. Everyone else is inferior.”

6. “How dare you not flatten yourself against the wall to allow us to pass you in a row of five! Discrimination I say!”

7. “I am a cyclist; my moral superiority is undeniable! What are all you pedestrians doing for the environment anyway?”

8. “This is my get out of my way walk. If you fail to do this, prepare to be knocked into the road.”

9. “I’m lost and if you didn’t anticipate my sudden u-turn causing me to bump into you, that’s on you.”

10. “Anyone younger than me is beneath me and should get out of my way if they do not wish to be loudly berated.”

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