Late night writings

Sleepy but have to write a post cause I feel that when one makes oneself a promise, that promise should probably be kept.

But today, I don’t know what to write. My thoughts are dark and sad and sometimes I don’t even want to give voice to them. The world seems to have lost all brightness, and I feel deeply empty. And I hate myself for it. I hate myself for not being happy when I have so much to be grateful for. I hate myself for not appreciating the freedom I had before graduating, the time I could spend with my family and my friends from home, the fact that I had time to cook properly before I had to trudge home from work, exhausted, to find myself barely with the energy to eat.

I am drained because however hard I try I cannot make myself happy for long. Sometimes it all feels too much. I wish I could write about it more poetically but today I don’t even have that.

Today, there is nothing left.

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