On letting people go

Sometimes, you have to give up on people. Over the weekend, I blocked two people on Facebook, because I realised that there was no longer hope that even a Facebook friendship with them; one that merely signified that we were acquaintances, could ever continue. Sometimes I try too hard to see the good in people. I justify harshness with anger, imagining how they feel, thinking that perhaps I would be the same in their shoes. In some cases, where I am the target of vitriol, I assume that I am at fault, and deserving of it. The ones who are clever try to convince everyone else of this too, and there have been too many times when I have almost lost whole groups of friends thanks to the efforts of a single person.

Most of the time, when it is I who am the target, I forgive. There are people who have hurt me deeply who could probably re-enter my life without so much as a nod to our past, should they choose. This can be a weakness, and can be a strength.

But the minute someone goes for my friends, they have gone too far. Whether they also target me or not is unimportant; if you hurt my friends, you have lost my friendship even if they forgive you. This time, it got to a stage where the things being said were so vile and untrue that the stress it caused me wasn’t worth ‘Knowing my enemy’. The line was crossed and I could take no more. I could no longer publicly imply alliance with them. Alone, I am weak and have little power to challenge them, and should I try it would make no difference; I would simply become an extra target. The best I can do is sever all ties, as others I know have done.

I only hope that at some point they will realise how many people they are losing with their bullying. If nothing else, I can at least join a sort of boycott of them, in the hopes that eventually they will completely disappear from my life.

For what I think may be the first time in my life, forgiveness is off the table.

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